Let me guess. You’ve got the same old stand by resolution list waiting to go for the New Year: Lose some weight, eat better, get a better job, spend less money, and quit whatever your nasty ass habit is.
Yeah, that’ll last. Don’t get me wrong. I’m rooting for you. I really am. But come on. Don’t we ALL set these somewhat lofty goals each year that kinda sorta become too big to follow through? (OK, maybe it’s just me. Now shut up and pass me that cheeseburger.)
{related article: 5 ways to be better in bed in 2012}
But I bet NONE of you even thought about just a teeny tiny new resolution for your sex life!
Well, don’t worry. I’ve got sox simple things you can put on your resolution list that will bring your bedroom back to life throughout the year.
6 Simple Things
1. Add One More A Week: How often are you having sex? Twice a week? Once a week? Please don’t say zero, you’ll make me cry. But whatever it is, just add one extra night of nookie. Even if it’s a quickie. So many couples get so busy with work, kids, and other outside distractions that the sex life is the first thing to suffer. So even if you have to unromantically pencil in a sex date, it will bring the two of you closer in the long run. TIP: try adding a little morning lovin’. That way, you’re not entirely wiped out from long hours at work. It might even set a positive tone for the rest of day.
{related article: how many times a week do you do it?}
2. Get a Doctor Check-Up: It’s a great idea to just check in with your doctor and let him know what medications you’re on, as many can effect your libido. Anti-depressants like Prozac and Zoloft, "are probably the number one cause of anorgasmia [inability to have an orgasm]," says Andrew Goldstein, MD, of the Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis, MD. Another culprit? A hormonal imbalance can kill off any sexual urges. But talking to your doctor could find you a different medication with no sexual side effects or even a testosterone patch to help balance out those hormones. Your sex could go from black and white to technicolor after one doctor visit. So you owe it to yourself to say “Ahhh!”
{related article: how to do kegel exercises and why}
3. Pleasure Yourself: There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and if you don’t know what turns you on, then your partner won’t know either. YOU make a better lover when you know what makes your toes curl. Being able to share that sacred information with your partner is the gift that keeps on giving for the both of you. Another added bonus to “Solo Sex”: It’s a great mood booster and there’s no distraction. You can focus on your own pleasure without making sure someone else is having a good time. (It doesn't mean you don't love your partner, maybe just that you need to think only about yourself sometimes.) BONUS Bonus: You don’t have to be in a relationship to perfect this one!
{related article: do marriage & sexual frustration go hand-in-hand?}
4. Sex-cessorize: Just because we grow, doesn’t mean we have to stop playing with toys. In fact, it means our toys get better! Most couples that add a few “sexcessories” in the bedroom find it keeps their sex life from falling into a rut. You can get something simple, like a vibrator or even a blindfold. You’ll be pleasantly surprised just by the anticipation of trying something. Often asking your partner if there is anything they would like to try could open the door to some new exciting sex but also a deeper level of intimacy. And keep in mind one sexcessory you may want to purchase is some massage oil because the next thing on your resolution list is...
{related article: a brief history of sex toys}
5. Massage: Who doesn’t appreciate the tender, sensual touch from the one they love? Who doesn’t get it that often? OK, who doesn’t give it that often either? I hear a lot of couples who have drifted apart who complain that they never even touch each other anymore... That sex is just mechanical with no foreplay or and erotic touch. A relaxed, thoughtful massage might be just the thing to physically reconnect with your partner. Take turns reacquainting yourselves. Just straddle your guy and begin to slowly rub his shoulders, back and thighs, letting him dictate the amount of pressure that feels good. Work up and down his arms and legs and let him return the favor. See what happens from there.
{related article: 7 reasons your sex life sucks}
6. Sexual Bartering: This is one of my favorite ways to break up the hum drum-edness of everyday life. You know how you want your dude to go to your mom’s for dinner? Or he wants you to go to that lame ass open mic night for his frat brother that’s SO not funny? Now you can do it, but get paid in sexual favors. “Sure, honey, I’ll go to open mic night. And you will pay me a night of just oral sex for me!” “I’ll go to your mother’s for dinner. And you will be doing a strip tease for me when we get home, followed by a foot massage.” Not only do these “Chores” become not so chore-y, but you start to stretch your imagination of how they will repay you. It will definitely keep the relationship young at heart.
{related article: does your husband want sex? give him forty beads}
Now come on. Admit it. These resolutions sound more fun than joining that stupid old gym (again), right? Now where’s that cheeseburger...
Additional articles from our partner HeadDrama.com
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dirty little sex secrets
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threesomes. good or bad for a relationship?
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getting up for getting down
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my most embarassing sex story. what's yours?
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too tired for romance? you need to make time.
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spilling your sex fantasy
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charity sex vs. pity sex
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"doing it" in front of the dog
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5 secrets to keep your man in bed
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how not to gag
